Prologue

This probably will be my last blog !!!!!!!

Either my son will kill me (but I doubt whether he is capable of matricide, because he takes after his Dad and loves me!) or he will pull out all the hair on his head in frustration! In all truth, I assure you, he will laugh it off and say “Amma is weird” in his inimitable style.  Psst……psst…. However, there is a saving grace……. he doesn’t read my blogs!!!   phewwww that’s  a relief ! 

Ye andar ki baat hai………..

“Plong”, I heard the sound of my mobile phone. SMS again!  Huh,  must be one from West side informing me of a 50% off sale, or  Pantaloons with buy 2 get 3 free. Or is it from Citibank asking me to pay up or acknowledging the receipt of my cheque.  It must be one of those boring messages I get daily, I thought. I picked up the phone hoping it would be an “I love you “ message from hubby dear, he does surprise me that way once a while J. I am sure he must be sitting through a boring meeting when he sends me one !! 

As I read the message, I guffawed so loudly that my daughter looked up startled, from the sofa where she was lazily curled up with her      “ Stephen King” book. HA HA HA HA HA HA…… I just rolled on the floor with laughter as my daughter wondered whether I had gone crazy. Huh ? “gone”?? I am a permanent denizen of crazy town as per my family.

“Just look at his message, the idiot”, I thrust the phone into my daughter’s hands.  Curious about what made her mom guffaw so much, she read it and laughed.  I just send a reply SMS  “ edaaaaaa.....  just take  a  peek  at what you are wearing…….. must be 80-85cms”. 

Now for the message I received from my dear eldest one, my one and only son, away at the National Institute of Technology, Calicut Hostel, an aspiring whiz IT Kid, about to be blue eyed new recruit in some top shot IT firm. 

“Ammooos, whats the size of my underwear?” 

Now before you find fault with my parenting let me tell you I have taken him to the shop for purchase and kept blabbering on how to buy one. The size, price, brand, color et al that has to be checked while buying one.  Now I am sure that when he was shaking his head to my chatter, he must have been doing some computer programming in that thick head of his!

A few months later he came home from the hostel and as usual with two bag loads of dirty clothes. While washing them I noticed his new under wears (finally he got the correct size!!). One look and I knew this model of Jockey was priced a bit higher than the normal ones he gets. I asked him “why did you get this particular model? It’s a bit costly na?”   With a worried exasperated look, his hands in the air, he told “ oh fo amma evideyo ninnu ithengilum vangaan patti, ini vila onnum chodichu budhimuttikanda”. (Uh Oh Mom.. I managed to locate at least these with great difficulty, and you are hankering after the price????)  I sighed in resignation.    

One year later, the next vacation while he was home, I asked him to help me with some shopping at the local supermarket. He obliged, a rare gesture since the lazy one thinks amma is superwoman who needs no help. I play the “ Amma (damsel) in distress”  act saying “my hands aching da, come with me”. I remember that in his younger days he would always accompany me to hold the bags as I did my veggie shopping, not out of love for me, but just to eat the succulent samosas I got him at the shop near the market!

As I went through the provisions and all, which never interests him, I asked him to check out the underwear section and pick up a few if he wanted them. He didn’t need my guidance anymore, I felt and just left him to do the job. The things were packed and we reached home.  

Next day he came to me,  looking sheepish. “Ammoos..” he grinned showing all his teeth  ( by the way my sister calls him Sebastian -the crab in  Little mermaid- when he smiles!)  As I peered through my reading glasses holding the newspaper I was reading, he told me “The u/w I bought yesterday is XXL size”. 

My jaws dropped. My Gawd!!!  “XXL” ? I almost screamed,  adding “Even your achan (Dad), who still dreams of losing weight, doesn’t need that size”!!!

And I asked him,  trying to control the urge to give him a whack on his back with whatever I could lay hands on that moment, “ Didn’t you check the box for the size yesterday?”  Pat came the reply “ But I looked at the price this time” !!!

The Taurean mother that I am, I have not given up hope. There is ample scope for improvement,  he will learn I tell myself.  If not you will find more posts on my blog in future ………ye andar ki baath hai, seriously!!!

Epilogue

Ye andar ki baat hai beta………… But your antics are so hilarious that I felt like sharing this with my iland friends. Hope you will not tear your hair in despair. And even if u do, let me assure you “Bald is beautiful” as much as “black is beautiful” So Good luck to you daaaaaaaaaa!

To my iland friends

Please check up whether I am in one piece after a few days  or the inevitable has happened after I have posted this blog. ;)